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Category Archives: Beauty

Patient Chic: Being Comfortable in an Uncomfortable Situation


The big day has arrived: Your doctor visit! You get to look forward to the glorious occasion of sitting in a dreary waiting room, reading old magazines,trying not to think about the new crop of germs you are being exposed to, and having yourself inspected and analyzed by a judgmental stranger. Of course the first thing on your mind is, “What do I wear to such an occasion?”  Is it possible to be over or under dressed for your doctor visit? What shoes will best compliment your hospital ensemble? The hospital gown: an office visit must or is it best to avoid this infamous little piece of drapery? I would like answer these questions for you and more. Allow me to take the mystery out of your fashion diagnosis.

I like to consider myself a bit of a doctor visit fashion expert. On my resume resides a diverse array of frequented doctors offices. Over the past year, I have visited everyone from the general practitioner to allergists, rheumatologists, and neurologists. I realize that not everyone is as fortunate as I am to gain this kind of experience. So, allow me to guide you through the mystifying world of patient fashion.

The Clothing:

Generally, a doctor visit isn’t the most pleasant of occasions. I realize that I seem to have made it my hobby, but seeing doctors is really not my idea of fun. So, when encountering these uncomfortable circumstances, I like to try to make myself as comfortable as possible. One of the first things you should consider before selecting your patient wardrobe is the nature of the visit. Will you be expected to remove your fabulous garments? Will you be expected to move around often?

If you find yourself in a situation where you are expected to doff your duds, make sure you can get in and out of your garments with ease. Don’t wear anything with oodles of buttons, buckles, or laces. I know it will be tempting to don your best corset, but I would strictly advise against it. Quick, easy pull over clothing is best. If you are going to need unrestricted movement, I would recommend wearing workout clothing. Yoga pants are wonderful. They are comfortable and allow lots of movement without looking sloppy. They are an essential in every patient’s wardrobe.

A note on the hospital gown and some tips to get out of wearing it:

Layering is an excellent idea for the doctor visit. I like to wear yoga pants and a cami with either a cardigan or zip-up hoodie. This way you can just strip down a little and still be comfortable. Also, wearing a loose, flowy skirt has gotten me out of the dreaded backside-bearing gown on a few occasions.

Undergarments: 

Just like your over clothing, you want to make sure your underclothing allows for movement and is easy to get yourself in and out of. No Spanx or girdles! I also like to stay fairly conservative in the undergarment department when I visit the doctor. I once made the mistake of assuming I wouldn’t need to strip down for a visit. I was seeing a neurologist and it didn’t occur to me that I would be required to wear the dreaded gown. I ended up prancing about in a matching hot pink lace bra and thong. I. Was. Mortified. The lesson: Always assume that you will be taking off your clothing.

At this point, I feel like I should address the following question: What if the doctor is attractive? Can I skip the conservative underwear rule?

I’m not suggesting that all patients wear granny panties, but I still think full coverage is the way to go. In my experience, the Dr. McDreamys and McSteamys of the world only live in TV Land. Most of the male doctors I’ve encountered have been roughly middle-aged, grumpy, and had bad hair. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news ladies. But honestly, would you really want to discuss all of your bodily imperfections with the golden Greek god of medicine? I don’t think so.

Shoes:

Ballett flats and flip-flops are great for a doctor visit. Easy on, easy off. Are you noticing a trend? Just make sure that said shoes aren’t too smelly. Nobody enjoys smelly feet.

Hair and Makeup:

Yes ladies, I have given some serious thought to appropriate and practical hair and makeup styling for the doctor’s office. Too much time on my hands? Too many doctor visits? I’ll let you be the judge. So, first, when planning you hair style, you need to consider two things: 1) You will probably be pulling clothing over your head. (Unless you wear a button-down. That could be a good idea.)  2) You will probably be laying on your back at some point.  Once you consider these things, you will know that your hair will likely get messed up and you don’t want to have to rest your head on the lump of a ponytail holder or a bun at the back of your head. Either wear your hair down and have a ponytail holder on hand for later, or wear a top-of-the-head ponytail a la Pebbles Flintstone. Remember, comfort is key.

This brings me to makeup. Some may ask, “why bother?” I’ll give you my reasons. I’m usually pretty tense before a doctor visit, the makeup ritual puts me in a zen state and keeps my mind busy. Instead of worrying about the impending tests and what they might find, I focus on my beauty ritual. I work in the familiar steps: conceal, contour, base, eyes, brows, cheeks, lips. Doing my makeup makes me feel like I’m donning my super suit. My scared, timid alter-ego is safely hidden away and the fearless hero emerges. It may seem silly, but it works for me.

I like to keep my makeup simple for these occasions. I’m not trying for glamour and I know things are likely to get smudged if I over do it. At times like these, natural is best. Soft tones, neutrals, light eye makeup, nude pink lips are my go-to look. It doesn’t hurt for a super hero to show a little vounerability in these situations.

So there you have it, Patient Chic. Even if you are not feeling fabulous, you can look fabulous and be comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. Sometimes that makes all the difference.

 

 

 

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Too Fabulous


Ah, Nebraska in January! As much as I try to deny that it’s winter, sometimes it just slaps me in face with five inches of snow, twenty-five mile per hour winds, and a super balmy temperature of five degrees. It’s days like today that I feel like I’ve made some poor winter wardrobe decisions. Instead of the svelte black leather jacket, I should have opted for something that would make me resemble a walking marshmallow. Instead of the virtually tractionless leather riding boots with the cute buckles that make a satisfying clicking noise as I walk, I should have gotten galoshes. This became incredibly evident as I attempted to dig my driveway out this evening. I’m sure the neighbors got a good show as I slipped and slid around behind the snow blower in my less than practical ensemble.

By the time my driveway was finally clear, my jeans were soaked through. My cateye glasses were encrusted with frost and my nose and ears matched my scarlet scarf. In a weird way, this is somewhat uplifting. Even as I’m mucking about sans makeup with my hair a mess, this experience makes me feel like I just may be a little too fabulous for my own good.

No Pants, No Cry


 

Whenever I wear a dress, people always ask me why I decided to dress up. They need to know the exact occasion that causes me to don something cute and flowy. While I would like to respond, “Darling, I’m going to the ball!” the real occasion is more like, “Darling, I’m going to the grocery store!” I don’t lead a glamorous life. I just enjoy wearing dresses almost exclusively when the weather permits. The main reason that I choose to wear a dress is that I just don’t feel like putting on pants that day.

Yeah, sad but true.

I find pants uncomfortable and extremely bothersome. Unless they are pajama pants. Most pants tend to chafe and waistbands and buttons dig into the belly. The biggest offender, jeans, seem to get some sort of wicked glee out of making me self-consious. They squash any spare flesh that one may have up and out until one’s once-cute top now looks like you are using it to conceal the kiddie floatation device you may have gotten stuck around your middle. At least, this is the effect jeans have on me. I’m over six feet tall and have a curvy frame. If you want to ruin my day, take me shopping for pants. In most stores, the only options seem to be skinny, extra skinny, low waist, extra low waist, and the mom jean. Forget tall sizes. So our only options become: Do I expose my barely covered posterior to the world or do I button my pants over my rib cage and make said posterior look even larger? Hmmm, decisions, decisions…

Utilikilt Man!!!

That is why I love the dress. From a fancier style of the structured bodice with an A-line skirt to a graphic T paired with a long, comfy maxi skirt, dresses are by far more comfortable and flattering than jeans. It’s true. Just try it. Men, I must say that I’m a bit surprised that kilts have never caught on. Just imagine a nice breeze and a lack of zippers. Where do you store your keys and billfold? In the utili-kilt, of course. After all, skirts with pockets are the best. Just try to avoid the “Marilyn moment” please and pay attention to how you sit. A little mystery is a good thing.

There are really only two occasions I can think of where choosing pants would be the better option: Very windy days and winter days when there is a foot of snow on the ground. Even then, I hesitate. I may need to leave Nebraska for somewhere more temperate so I can finally have my ideal wardrobe. C’mon Hubby, let’s go!

 

35 Untapped Fashion Trends From Forgotten Decades


35 Untapped Fashion Trends From Forgotten Decades.

Some of this stuff is pretty cool. I really want all of the jewelry.

24 Of The Hottest Body Paint Transformations Ever


24 Of The Hottest Body Paint Transformations Ever.

These are amazing. I really love body painting and I would actually really love to try it some day…If I can get over the potential awkwardness.

Bigger is Better for Bikini Season?


I just stumbled onto this clip via the Cats Like Us Facebook page. It’s really interesting to think that advertisers promoted weight gain to women in order to be at their best for swimsuit season in the 30’s and 40’s. What a radical turn around in beauty ideals. I’m currently doing a lot of reading on the history of beauty culture and it’s incredibly interesting to see how beauty, advertising, and women’s rights are so tightly entwined. The history of lingerie is equally interesting and influential to women’s history in the same way. Look it up! I plan to write about both subjects in the future, but in the mean time, check out this clip.

TODAY: How the perfect beach body has changed.

The Golden Age of Burlesque


This is an interesting article on the history and revival of Burlesque. In this sexy little show, less is more and just the right amount of skin is used for maximum effect. Thank you Retrospective Magazine!

The Golden Age of Burlesque.

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